Just because I write about inspirations I receive, it doesn’t mean I always adhere to my own advice. And, the area where I have the most difficulty heeding my insights is with my memoir, A Reluctant Spirit.
Lately, I’ve been dedicating myself to the book’s final, big marketing push. And it’s wearing me down. I’m tired of sending emails that no one responds to. And attempting to schedule talks to be told “maybe next year.” And realizing I will not financially break even with its sales.
Since marketing and public relations have been my profession for more than 30 years, I know how to run a publicity campaign. So since I’m confident in my skills, I anticipate certain outcomes. And my expectations are not being met.
This leaves me disillusioned and fantasizing about quitting this project that although I’m passionate about, is akin to a second job. Why should I keep relinquishing my free time and spending my savings?
While meditating, this answer (albeit, not the one I wanted to hear) came to me:
- Work it.
- Let it go.
- Have faith.
“Work it” is not difficult for me. I realize that “luck” (which I don’t believe in) only comes to those who’ve put themselves in the right place at the optimal time by using their God-given gifts.
“Let it go,” on the other hand, is my Mt. Everest. I’ve worked hard, so why should I have to release my expectations? If I do “A” correctly, shouldn’t “B” happen?
Not necessarily. And this is a lesson I should’ve learned decades ago. My life has seldom propelled itself down a straight Nevada road. It’s been more of a coastal journey with twists so tight at times, I sense I’m moving backwards. Believing I have control over the process is futile. Even if I perform a stellar job, the outcomes of my efforts often must rely on others and the energy around me to determine how the next step plays out.
“Let it go” is intrinsically bound to “Have faith.” If I don’t release my anticipations, I’m not allowing the Most Divine to work.
Looking back, all the great events that have happened to me have never occurred when I’ve really wanted them to. I’d met Ken after I’d sworn off all men. I’d given up on being healthy to be healed years later. I’d published a well-receieved book more than 12 years after I’d decided I couldn’t write anything interesting.
I must shift my mindset to recognize that just because an expectation is not met, it doesn’t mean the journey is over. My trip just features different scenery.
P.S.Thank you to those who’ve private messaged me and asked me why I wrote my book to achieve fortune and fame. Being famous and rich isn’t my goal and it’s clear that I didn’t make this point in this post. Foremost, I want to help others on their spiritual journey, so even if I don’t write another book, I’ll still continue with my blog posts. My challenge has been spending the meager savings I have on my book and not being able to recoup those expenses. Thank you for allowing me to clarify my point. Have a great day!
It’s easier to take a vow of poverty. I am on Social Security (not rich), and after many degrees (Dr. of Theology) and certs in Christian Counseling and Life Coaching, I decided to do what I’ve always done: don’t charge. I read, research, write about it, mix it with experiences and that which the Holy Spirit prompts, and I put it out there on my little blog. I am alone in the world with no other means of support than the SS and a tiny bit from my ex-husband (there’s no fool like an old fool, after 35 yrs of marriage). but I have absolute faith I’ll be OK. If you have no need for fame and fortune, it’s the happiest way to go. You get to do what gives you joy, help people who need help but cannot afford it, and the gov’t. will not try to put you in jail or confiscate what you do have. Just sayin’.
Well said, Bernadette. All my best to you. I value your drive to continue ministering through your blog. Take care.
Bernadette, you weren’t the only one that thought my goal was fortune and fame. Please see my postscript at the end of this post. Thanks for letting me know so I could clarify my point.
Kathleen , It is natural to want some pay back after many hours of dedicated work . Your pay back has already started for me in my life and how just reading your book has answered so many questions I have had for years , yet not wanting to admit to anyone around me my experiences I have had. I have musician friends who back in the day had a hard time selling their albums . Like you said the letting go is the most difficult. Once we do how much lighter we fill. I tend to think letting go is the biggest and best part of the experience of our journey. Once again looking forward to seeing you in November and I will be bring friend with me. Stay the path you have touch me and I know there are others to come . Your blessings are coming !!!
Take Care , Tam
Thank you so much, Tamarah. It is because of people like you–who took a chance to reach out to me after they read my book–that keeps me going. Since I wrote this post a couple weeks ago, I’ve been working on letting go and have been feeling much better about my journey. I hope this is the last time I will need to learn this lesson as life is much easier when you “let go and let God.” We’ll see where the Great I Am takes me next!! See you at A to Zen on Nov. 5. I look forward to meeting you!