Just because I write about inspirations I receive, it doesn’t mean I always adhere to my own advice. And, the area where I have the most difficulty heeding my insights is with my memoir, A Reluctant Spirit.
Lately, I’ve been dedicating myself to the book’s final, big marketing push. And it’s wearing me down. I’m tired of sending emails that no one responds to. And attempting to schedule talks to be told “maybe next year.” And realizing I will not financially break even with its sales.
Since marketing and public relations have been my profession for more than 30 years, I know how to run a publicity campaign. So since I’m confident in my skills, I anticipate certain outcomes. And my expectations are not being met.
This leaves me disillusioned and fantasizing about quitting this project that although I’m passionate about, is akin to a second job. Why should I keep relinquishing my free time and spending my savings?
While meditating, this answer (albeit, not the one I wanted to hear) came to me:
- Work it.
- Let it go.
- Have faith.
“Work it” is not difficult for me. I realize that “luck” (which I don’t believe in) only comes to those who’ve put themselves in the right place at the optimal time by using their God-given gifts.
“Let it go,” on the other hand, is my Mt. Everest. I’ve worked hard, so why should I have to release my expectations? If I do “A” correctly, shouldn’t “B” happen?
Not necessarily. And this is a lesson I should’ve learned decades ago. My life has seldom propelled itself down a straight Nevada road. It’s been more of a coastal journey with twists so tight at times, I sense I’m moving backwards. Believing I have control over the process is futile. Even if I perform a stellar job, the outcomes of my efforts often must rely on others and the energy around me to determine how the next step plays out.
“Let it go” is intrinsically bound to “Have faith.” If I don’t release my anticipations, I’m not allowing the Most Divine to work.
Looking back, all the great events that have happened to me have never occurred when I’ve really wanted them to. I’d met Ken after I’d sworn off all men. I’d given up on being healthy to be healed years later. I’d published a well-receieved book more than 12 years after I’d decided I couldn’t write anything interesting.
I must shift my mindset to recognize that just because an expectation is not met, it doesn’t mean the journey is over. My trip just features different scenery.
P.S.Thank you to those who’ve private messaged me and asked me why I wrote my book to achieve fortune and fame. Being famous and rich isn’t my goal and it’s clear that I didn’t make this point in this post. Foremost, I want to help others on their spiritual journey, so even if I don’t write another book, I’ll still continue with my blog posts. My challenge has been spending the meager savings I have on my book and not being able to recoup those expenses. Thank you for allowing me to clarify my point. Have a great day!