In this continuation of my last post, “The Divine places people in our lives for a reason,” I look at how those we perceive as negative have a purpose in our development as well.
All of us have had relationships that feel combative, negative and discouraging. It has taken me decades to realize that these trials are just as beneficial to shape my growth as the easy, happy relationships I’ve had. These people who make our existence more difficult are here for a divine reason.
No one wants to deal with those who make us feel uncomfortable or treat us poorly. When we become aware of this dynamic, we can learn more quickly why this person grates on us and then move on before their negativity drags down our vibration.
We have to look deeper to figure out why that challenging person is in our life. Does this person represent a repeating relationship pattern that we need to change? Do they possess traits that we need to work on? A lesson could be as simple as learning which types of people feed our souls and which ones deplete us.
One woman. Years of headaches and upset stomachs.
In the previous post, I mentioned that one of my college supervisors had forced me out of my job. When I’d worked for her, she’d regularly put me down, making me feel worthless. After I transferred to the college’s noncredit class department, she didn’t stop her crusade to make me miserable. Instead, she went to my new boss, badmouthing me.
I’d gotten to the point that when I was at a meeting I knew she would attend, I’d get sick to my stomach.
Once I dug deeper into why I allowed her actions to impact me, I saw she struggled to appreciate herself. Aha. Low self-esteem is a battle I’ve known. Her behavior was a red flag that I needed to stop being so hard on myself. I needed to stop allowing her to make me feel even worse about myself than I already did. I wouldn’t consent to being her victim.
I prayed about this relationship and how to better handle this person. Eventually, I received divine guidance to send love to her whenever she was near. Through love, I released the unworthiness she kindled within me. I learned that by bombarding someone with divine love, their negativity loses its power.
Without her causing me misery, I wouldn’t have learned this valuable lesson: Never return negativity with negativity as this slows the growing process. Rise above. Send those who antagonize you love.
But this woman served another purpose in shaping my life as well: If she hadn’t reconfigured my job so I was unable to do it, I wouldn’t have moved to the noncredit area of the college. And, if I wasn’t working in the noncredit department, I never would’ve been involved in the Nevada Ghost Series and gone to the Goldfield Hotel with KTVN. Her actions forced me into the job I needed to have.
Change always has a reason, even if we don’t see it at the time.
Not everyone likes us for who we are.
You could be a burr in someone’s sock. Without knowing it, you may be showing someone an aspect of themselves they don’t like. Or you may be nudging them to make decisions that will change their paths. They may see in you what they struggle with. It’s up to them to figure out why you bother them.
Through these difficult encounters, keep in mind those who appreciate, love and support us. Never let someone else diminish our self-worth.
We’re all teachers and most of us don’t know it.
Like the divine brings people into our lives to help us on our journey, we also are meant to be instrumental in others’ journeys as well. Each of us are like ripples on a pond, moving the water and bouncing into other ripples on the surface. The trick is to ripple with good intentions, love and pray or send healing light to others. Show people why you see them shine.
As you give people tools to heal themselves, you will further heal yourself.
Incredible insights, Kathy. It reminds me of a dear friend who says to stop, look, and listen–something we were taught in kindergarden that is still valuable to us as adults. It is often hard not to match negative with negative, but taking the higher road truly is the best path–for ourselves, and for those whose self-esteem prompts them to attack others.
Thank you for taking the time to comment, Virginia. You are so correct. We can learn by observing others as actions speak louder than words. I think it is so easy as humans for us to want to put everything into a good or bad basket, and that everything has to be black and white. However, there is opportunity for growth in almost every situation, whether we like the person or not. Have a great day!