When we are paralyzed by devastating illness, world events or personal tragedies, it’s hard to see the way out of our misery. While no one can take away our challenges, the advice listed below can help us break through and live more meaningful lives.

I worked at the National Multiple Sclerosis Society when no treatments were available to slow this disease’s progression. Little did I know when I took that job that I would meet strong, loving people who continue to inspire me decades later.

Here’s their advice.

Life is precious; don’t wait for the right time
It is always time to live fully. If we wait for the ideal time to pursue our goals or find personal peace, we waste valuable time. Two people who lived with MS—Bonnie and Dick—showed me that even on the worst days, it is worth living. It is worth pushing forward. It is worth helping others.

It’s vital to fuel our happiness by helping others and pursuing our passions. No one can take away our personal power unless we allow them to take it.

Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t
We are not our limitations. We are a culmination of our experiences, our victories and mistakes, and our outlook on life. If we nurture a flexible mentality, we’ll navigate our challenges more easily.

When Dick could no longer hike, he drove into the wilds. When he couldn’t safely drive, he had his beat-up Land Rover modified so he could still access nature. When that stopped working, he invited friends to take him outdoors.

Bonnie missed downhill skiing. When she learned there was adapted sit-skiing in other states, she brought this program to a resort in the Sierra Nevada. She was not only back on the slopes and free of her wheelchair, but she empowered others to do the same.

Don’t get into a lather about something you have no control over
A few years after I left the MS Society, I fell devastatingly ill and could no longer work. Bonnie told me the first step to living well was to release what I couldn’t physically control: in my case, a disease that doctors didn’t understand. But this doesn’t mean accepting defeat. We have control over how we react to a crisis. We can find ways to act that may not change our problems, but we can learn to flow around those restrictions to live more fully.

It’s your choice: don’t make misery your identity
“Your identity is not your challenges. It’s how you respond to those challenges that shape you.” Both Bonnie and Dick lived by this wisdom. They recognized that by dwelling on their “can’ts,” they limited themselves just as much as the MS. They knew if they consciously chose to root themselves in the limitations surrounding them, they’d become their worst enemy.

What they both knew was that when we focus on limitations, we lock ourselves into a prison of our own making.

Each of us encounters some hardship in our lives, whether it is emotional, financial or physical. I hope you’ll take inspiration from Bonnie and Dick. They made the world better for themselves and others by expanding their worldview beyond their own challenges.

#allmyownwords